Finding Joy
What is the easiest way to know we need to make a change in our lives? When we’re unhappy. Finding joy is in our nature.
I love the quote by Joseph Smith:
“Happiness is the object and design of our existence, and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path which leads to it.”
Joseph Smith
It echoes this verse from the Book of Mormon, “Men are that they might have joy.”
What an amazing doctrine! Our whole existence is based on happiness and joy!
The Challenge: Finding Joy
But can’t this seem a little idealistic at times? If our happiness is the object, why couldn’t this world be a bit of a happier place? We see wars and rumors of wars. Poverty and hunger. Natural disasters, political conflict, and a thousand other things to worry about. With all this, how are we supposed to go about finding joy?
The Solution: Spell it out!
I took my question to social media first. Most of the answers started with “treat yourself” and included chocolate. I love that! Still, I wanted a more lasting solution.
Other sources told me that if we look for joy, we won’t find it. We have to let it find us. To me, that seems half-pessimism-half-wishful-thinking. Looking for and finding joy seems to be one of the joys of life, an accomplishment of sorts.
The internet wasn’t giving me answers, but while going through some old notes, I found it. The key to finding joy.
If you really want to find joy in your life, all you have to do is spell the word out.
J. O. Y. Put J for Jesus first, then O for others, and then Y for yourself. You prioritize.
J for Jesus
President Ezra Taft Benson said:
“When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives.”
Ezra Taft Benson
Making Room for Him
Here is an analogy to demonstrate. I’m a bit of an organization freak, which partly comes from living in a small space. When you only have so much room to work with, you’ve got to make smart decisions with your space.
I first researched methods and tried different types of containers, layouts, and systems. Eventually, though, I found that for everything to fit prettily and cleanly, I had to sort it all into two piles. There was a necessary pile, and a not-necessary pile (mind you, I considered Amelia’s toys and all my books necessary).
The necessary things got to stay, and I found a proper place for them. Everything else had to drop out of my life. At first, I thought I might eventually miss some of those unnecessary things. Later, I found a lot more joy in having everything in order.
We all have the same issue with our time. There’s only so much of it, and a lot of things to fit in. But as President Benson promised, if we put God first–prioritize our scripture study, prayer, temple worship, church meetings, and callings–we will be able to sort everything else out. The necessary things we have or really want to do will find their proper place. Then the unnecessary things will fall out of our lives. And we’ll be so much happier for it.
Why does putting Jesus first bring joy?
Elder Dallin H. Oaks said:
“If we do not choose the kingdom of God first, it will make little difference in the long run what we have chosen instead of it.”
Elder Dallin H. Oaks
The long run can refer to this life, or it can refer to eternity. Either way, if we don’t choose Jesus first, nothing else really matters. When you look back on your life, do you want to see all of the nice things or experiences you collected? Or do you want to be able to look forward to meeting our Heavenly Father with confidence?
When we choose to put God first in our lives–to let Him prevail–we can always have confidence and joy.
O for Others
Serving others naturally follows serving God. As King Benjamin taught in the Book of Mormon:
“When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God.”
Mosiah 2:17
Most of the ways we follow God include serving others. This includes fulfilling church callings, temple or family history work, or ministering to those around us.
It probably doesn’t surprise many of us that service increases our joy. More and more studies show happiness levels increasing in those who regularly help others. Giving and volunteering can even reduce depression, lower blood pressure, and increase lifespan.
But we don’t want to serve others just to make ourselves happy. Our best service comes when we serve out of love, not for selfish reasons. We have to look at each person around us as would look at our brother or sister–because they are. When we see them as God’s children and our own loved ones, serving them will be natural.
Seeing their potential
When I was younger, I read a quote about seeing each person’s divine potential. Afterward, in a sacrament meeting, I tried an experiment. I looked at different people in the congregation and imagined them wearing white robes and glowing like celestial beings. This had the greatest effect when I imagined this on someone I didn’t know well or really like. This is because it helped me to see their potential, and I wanted them to get to it.
What a tragedy it would be if even one of these people never made it to that potential. But what a greater tragedy if I had the opportunity to help them get there, and ignored them! How many times has this been the tragedy that has played out?
Can you see what’s hanging on the line when we don’t serve, uplift, minister, and share God’s love with others? Everything. At least, everything that is of real value.
Big or small, they all bring joy!
These acts of service don’t have to be grand or magnificent. Large acts are certainly praiseworthy, and we should be doing all we can to help each other. Despite this, the most meaningful service we give to each other will often be something small and simple. A smile, a kind word, a meal, your time. They don’t cost much, but the value could be immeasurable. Because even if you “Bring save it be one soul unto [Christ], how great will be your joy with him in the kingdom of [God].”
Y for Yourself
So what about us? Can we have joy if we are spent and don’t care for ourselves? No, I don’t think so.
Joy without the “Y” would just be jo. Men are that they might have joy, not that they might have jo. We do need to take care of ourselves in healthy ways. We need to take care of our bodies, work, get an education, and take time to rest and replenish.
“Your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things,” the Savior said.
He knows.
Then Jesus continued, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”
My experience
I learned this principle in a simple but powerful way on my mission. Each day, I had an hour for personal scripture study, which I could use however I wanted. Most days, I spent my study time learning more about the lessons we were teaching or finding answers to others’ questions. Other times, I would brush up on principles that I was unfamiliar with.
There were often mornings when I had deep questions that I needed to know the answers to for myself. There may have been something I was really struggling with. Why not spend my one hour to myself on these things? Because often, these would be the same mornings with a lot of lessons. These lessons would require a lot of time studying for the people we were teaching. After a few terrible lessons, I realized that it would be better for me to study for others first. Then, if I had a few leftover minutes, I could look for my own answers.
Then something unexpected happened. When I put my questions aside and focused on others’ needs, the Spirit spoke to me. I found the answers I was looking for while I was studying for others. In fact, I gained some of my deepest insights that way.
As I did my best to take care of others, the Lord was taking care of me.
The same principle has worked in every area of my life. It has worked as a missionary, coworker, student, friend, wife, and mother.
When we serve the Lord, we have less need to worry about our needs.
“For those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they will mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31
If men are that they might have joy, then God won’t withhold it from us when we serve Him.
Go find your JOY!
Our entire existence is based on happiness and joy, but we won’t find it while focusing on ourselves. The world would tell you a million ways to find happiness and personal fulfillment. But the world is also pretty miserable a lot of the time.
True happiness is found when we serve God, then his children, and trust that He will help us take care of ourselves too. That is the kind of happiness that lasts. It endures. Setting up our priorities this way may seem counterintuitive, but if you will, you’ll be happier every day. I know this. I’ve seen it work in my life. And I know that it will work in yours too!